Costa del Lockdown

Day one of working from home (whatever that looks like for a teacher; lots of online resource creating, emails and phonecalls to parents, and replying to students' sweet, strange and utterly bizarre comments on the stream of their Google Classroom), and having shut up shop an hour or so ago, I'm sat on the sofa with a bundle of cats at my feet while I finally read a few more chapters of the book I've been working on since the February half term. 

Suddenly, I'm overcome with a sense of waiting. Very much like that feeling of being at an airport before a flight. You're through security, and perhaps you've even made it as far as the gate. So now you're feeling relatively relaxed and, sitting quietly with something to pass the time, you await your boarding call.

And so the sense of waiting has continued. I started this post three and a half weeks ago and in some ways, a lot has happened since then. In others, nothing has. Since making the comparison to waiting at an airport, we've also decided that lockdown is a little like the longest caravan holiday you've ever been on (although, slightly confusingly, the weather's good!?), or, in the lighter moments, it's like the time spent sitting on the deck of a cruise ship on the sail between ports. 

With the coming of Spring, the Easter holiday is perhaps one of my favourites, and while this one was nothing like the others, and nothing like it was supposed to be, I've definitely made the best of it.

The first time I wrote this year, I shared my New Year's resolution: to slow down. Perhaps not entirely of my own volition, I'd say my resolution's been going rather well so far. While my body likes to remind me that yes, this whole situation is indeed making me very anxious, my mind has been pretty good at embracing a slower pace of life for two weeks in lockdown without any 'working from home' to keep me busy. 

Habit dictates that with beautiful weather comes days of aimless meandering, sometimes with a picnic lunch if I'm feeling really organised. Well aimless meandering has still been possible, but with the added challenge of getting out and home again in our allotted hour. I've enjoyed woodland, parks (although they make me unnecessarily nervous), riverside, and, most of all, random streets in and around my area that I've never had any reason before to walk along. I've particularly enjoyed  observing the gradual change of season; blossom abundant on trees now giving way to greenery, and all in glorious sunshine.

I've been reading. First, I finished the book mentioned above that I started so long ago but couldn't find the time to finish. Then I returned to comfort (of sorts) in a Morse which fortunately I'd bought in Waterstones on my way home one evening before everything started to shut down. Since finishing that, I've been reading Ant Middleton's Autobiography, which I'm finding fascinating. All have one thing in common; they offer a little escapism.

When I first started writing this, I had just had a massive cleanse of my social media (namely Instagram), and the first time I scrolled the morning after, I definitely noticed the difference. Ashamed to admit that with a lot of news, I take an 'ignorance is bliss' attitude, but as a massive hypochondriac, I've actually preferred in this situation to keep myself informed of the facts (where possible). 

What's been really bothering me over the past few weeks is the sudden appearance online of all these experts. People who I thought I was following because they've got an eye for interiors or inspire me with their travels are suddenly full of all the wisdom in the world about how I should be living my life. 

Creativity, especially, is such a personal thing. I'm creative. I'm a musician. I'm a teacher. I'm a writer (maybe that's a stretch).. I write. I take photographs. Naturally with so much time to hand, and with so much 'influence' online, I thought I'd have time for all of the above, and then some. But I haven't. I'm surprised by how quickly the days pass. I'm left wondering how I ever had time to fit everything in before, but I'm also allowing myself to be 'lazy'. I'm allowing myself not to be overly-productive. I'm allowing myself to spend that little bit longer sitting in a particular spot, or laying in bed, or just sticking with one activity before I move to the next. 

I am a little disappointed that I haven't played any of my instruments or sung properly for weeks, but it doesn't mean I've not been musical. I've been listening to music every single day, and thinking really carefully about what it is that I want to listen to. I've been doing a jigsaw puzzle. I've been playing a new board game. I've been cooking new dishes (no, I haven't baked any banana bread). I've been learning to identify bird song. I've been taking time to find out the names of the flowers I'm admiring on my walks and in the garden. I've done a little colouring. I've done some yoga; not lots, but some. 

I'm not really sure what the point of my post is today (is there ever one?), but I think it's mostly to remind anyone who might need reminding that we're all different, and that we choose to spend this time in the way that we wish. It's a strange time indeed, and difficult. But we can still make the best of it, however that may look for us. 

We could all learn a lot from Garnet.