Not making resolutions in January (or am I?)

I'm starting out here not really sure what I want to write about. All I know is that I want to write. Because it's been a while! Well, and I'd quite like to use a laptop for something other than Google Classroom if only for a short while.

Have I been up to much? Not really. Have I been thinking much? Probably too much. So there is a danger that this could all turn rather philosophical, which I would quite like to avoid as I'm sure we've all got our own philosophy to be preoccupied with without having to take someone else's on board!

Usually in January I kick off with a resolutions post. Even when I've had no resolution, writing this post has been my tradition now for the past eight years. So this year it felt strange not to launch into one on New Year's Day, but it also didn't feel right to do so. Having spent the last year having no clue what was going on or where I would be or who with, I thought this year I'd just stick to taking every day as it comes. Which perhaps is a resolution in itself? But after last year's resolution being met with minimal effort on my part (yeah, thanks Covid, I guess you'll take care of my 'slowing down'), I'm reluctant to formalise anything this year for fear that it will take an unexpected turn again.

I must confess that in contrast to last January where I was all for finding the light, this year I've definitely been in hibernation mode since Christmas (probably before that if I'm really being honest with myself). I'm definitely getting better at not feeling guilty if I've not been particularly productive when I'm not at work (I've said it before, and I'll say it again; we could all learn a lot from cats). 

So one thing I have resolved to do is to set an alarm at the weekends. While I am all for listening to my body and sleeping in until I wake naturally around 10am; on these occasions, it's midday before I know it and the sun is setting not long after that. I want to make more of my days whether that's a day in or out. Especially in the winter!

Yesterday, I went for my first proper walk this year and it was so good to get outside beyond the route to and from school, and especially to see some sunshine! We made our way around a bit of Bushy Park (there's just so much of it to cover) and then along the river a little way from Hampton Court. The last time we'd been in the area was early Autumn in that strange time where it was ok to meet a small group to enjoy a brunch at 'socially' distanced tables, popping your mask on whenever you weren't seated. The leaves were falling from the trees, and it was rutting season. Yesterday, the trees were bare, and the stags quietly sharing hay from a bale. An Egyptian Goose was fiercely guarding her four little floofs. For nature, life goes on.

I've decided I'd quite like to return to Bushy Park February-March time when the green tufts of bulbs that were beginning to break through the mulchy ground will reveal themselves fully, and when a few more Camellia may have blossomed.

It was only recently that we discovered how easily Richmond Park can be reached on foot from home (don't worry, Boris, this is all very local exercise) so really we should make more of that knowledge, then, and I think that we will. But we're still making the best of those lazy days, too. 

I'm definitely getting better at not feeling so guilty when I don't do something productive every day whether it be week day, weekend, or holiday. It's funny the things it's taken a pandemic to truly reveal to me. I can talk the talk, but only recently have I begun to walk the walk. I've appreciated the value of rest, I've been more spontaneous (totally out of my comfort zone as an INFJ), I've made the most of each day often in really small ways. None of this in a forced way, I hope, but with gratitude.

Going ahead into 2021 with little to no plans, but I'm still looking forward to whatever awaits me! 

Slowly into the New Year

2020 has arrived, and with it a little sunshine at last.

Yesterday's lunch spot.

I've been quiet for a while. Not because I've had nothing to write about, but partly because of a lack of energy and inspiration, and partly because of a lack of time (a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario, if I'm honest).

On reflection, 2019 was a strange year because it was the first in a while where nothing momentous happened. I'm settled in my job. I'm settled in my home. I'm settled in my relationship. I'm settled. And with being settled comes a stupid sense of having not achieved anything; which is ridiculous. It took almost reaching the end of the year to realise a few things. One of these things was as above; relatively speaking, 2019 was a quiet year. Which is fine. Only it wasn't entirely fine, because another thing I realised is that what happened was that I crammed my time full of social events and occasions to make myself feel like I was doing something worthwhile. Which is fine. Only it's not totally fine when you feel completely and utterly shattered by the time December comes around.

So in December, I started to slow down. And while that may sound like leaving it too late, I'm going with the notion that this slowing down is how I'm moving into a New Year. So it's not too late; I just started my resolution a month early.

Is there anything better than sitting on a bench, 

knowing you're in no rush?

As always, I've already plotted a few social events and occasions into my diary and onto the calendar so poor Steven doesn't get left behind (it's no wonder he can't keep up..), but I'm plotting them with care. I'm taking each month into consideration as a whole, not living week by week. If one major event that involves travel or people coming to stay is happening in a month, then that's it. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, then I embrace a slower pace.

There were many elements that I loved about 2019, not least the places that I got to see and the people I got to see them with. With a few empty days between New Year and the start of a new term, I've enjoyed slow wanderings closer to home. Yesterday it was a new stretch of the Thames Path from Kingston to Richmond with the sun on my back, and today it was to and from Wimbledon with the sun in my eyes (all in the name of Vitamin D).

Got to love a line of Cormorants.

Was I wearing sensible footwear? Me? Never.

Relief for my tired tootsies when familiarity was in sight!

Tomorrow looks equally as quiet as the past few days. Perhaps we'll make time for a dog walk before the return to reality on Monday. Slowly, I'm ready to make my way into another New Year.

One resolution for 2017

I truly am a creature of habit. Here I sit again with blog posts from the past four new years open on my laptop. and I notice an awful lot of pattern; in the nature of my writing, in the time and place and in my resolutions.

Now on one hand, reading back gives me a small sense of achievement as I almost always manage to up-hold at least one resolution. I also notice that life has moved on, no matter how stale it may sometimes feel as I edge ever further away from 20. On the other hand, each time another new year approaches, the same resolution seems to dwindle.

In 2014 I phrased it 'make time for real Laura time'. In 2015 it was 'look after myself. Rest' and in 2016, the same 'look after myself'. Now I don't want to speak too soon but I have somehow evaded illness for some time now (I actually can't remember the last time I had a cold) so I think I've just about got my physical well-being down; I generally eat well now, I do actually exercise more than a bit despite my fear last year that the mere suggestion was getting a little carried away and thanks to my lovely bed and a renewed habit of reading before sleep, I sleep well too. My emotional well-being, however, is something I'm not so good at looking after.

So for 2017, instead of making several resolutions to change, I am going to carry on doing the things that I do well and the things that I love and my one resolution is simply to tend to my emotional well-being.

I'm going to keep reading, writing, colouring, being musical, sleeping, socialising, walking, exploring, travelling, escaping, shopping, cooking, drinking, eating, watching films, painting my nails, putting on a bit of makeup or a face mask. I'm going to pre-plan and fill in my diary so that there are always things, no matter how small, to look forward to. And hopefully, at the end of it all, I'm going to be happy and I'm still going to feel a sense of achievement simply because 2017 might turn out to be another 'good year'. Who knows.

Some highlights of 2016; it wasn't so bad either.